Okay- do you find your mouth saying “YES” when your head is screaming “NO” Then read on, if you dare.....
Over the years, I’ve counselled countless people pleasers, but more often than not, people pleasing wasn’t really their problem; their desire to make others happy was just a symptom of a deeper issue. Often their eagerness to be liked and to please others stems from issues of self-worth. Let’s face it, people pleasing often helps you feel accepted.
It’s easy to view people pleasing as kindness “I don’t want to appear mean” “I should help them” “ I’d rather avoid conflict”
Yet, these reactions mean that sometimes you allow others to take advantage of you. People-pleasing can be a serious problem, putting others before yourself, causing stress and tiredness... and it’s a hard habit to break.
Do you ever:-
Feel responsible for how others feel?
Do you apologise too often or too quickly?
Do you take on things for others that leave you exhausted without enough time for your own stuff?
Do you start acting like others around you even if it doesn’t feel natural for you?
Do you ‘give in’ too easily?
Do you tell fibs because you’re frightened of being judged?
Do you not admit when your feelings have been hurt?
Do you find yourself having to get dressed up and go out to events when you’d rather stay in, because it’s too hard to say no to someone?
Okay, well help yourself break the ‘people pleasing’ habit by saying no to something small at first. Express your opinion about something simple, or take a stand for something you believe in. Each step will help you gain more confidence in how you behave, react, and how you view your sense of self.
Don’t sabotage your own goals and freedom of choice, it’s easy to do ... and I should know as I’ve been a PP for years! (And you all thought I was perfect 🤪)
Good luck & keep smiling lovely people... it’s just another day in Paradise!